Time wasting

It suddenly dawned on me that my first semester has gone by, and I haven't been posting really, and usually nothing dental related. I will make it up to you next year- my 2006 resolution.
Call me craazy but Asian guys are suddenly hot! I know I am late.This is probably not the forum to talk about my stalkeristic behaviours, but I just can't help it. I see something from afar, and would like to quietly obsess about it in the recesses of my mind- is that so bad? I am having a premoniton that I may live to regret this post-not only b/c I am not studying for my finals, but I am psychic like that. I mean, our school is vastly made up of south pacific islanders,asians mainly.So maybe I am being brainwashed, but whatever it is-I like it!
So is it sooo wrong to sign onto AOL every hour or too to see if this jackass is online and wait for him to IM me. No, I can't IM him first, because then my true nature will be exposed. I have a bad habit of fixating on someone for no good reason. I just wake up one day and decide that "Hey, I am gonna like this guy.." Sounds crazy I know, but there is some logic to it. Its not completely random. I mean he should not be a cannibal, watch sex and the city (possibly one of the worst shows ever) and not be a dwarf (sorry bashful).
So I am trying to get all the races under my belt, and I have not done very well in the melting pot dept. Not that its for the novelty of it all....oh ok,,it is. Well luckily there is a whole slew of them at school, but I usually have a saying that schoolmates should never date. Its just silly and awkward I find. Its like people whose parents are both lawyers, or both magicians..just plain foolish.

Speaking of foolish, still have not studied. Weep. Just for the record, I'm in a silly dental program, which contrary to popular belief is actually hard. Or maybe I was just delusional in thinking I could dodge the hard work of med school by becoming a dentist. One of these days I will spend some time about the woes of this and how much I am in the wrong career field, but I believe I must trod on. And you thought that I was just a plain Jane. Nope, good ol'fashioned crazy is what I am. Got a slew of problems. If you got it, I probably do too- depression (working on it though), perfectionist,over-acheiver,clearly there is some ADD in there, social anxiety-just to name a few...It makes for an interesting life,throw in some drogas and I am good to go.

Well guess I better go figure out how to use chop-sticks if I intend to make this work...oh, for the record- still no IM...maybe I should take a hint eh?

ADD anyone?

Whoever in the hell said that Aderall will help you focus for finals lied their asses off. LIARS. (insert flaming mad face)The cocaine for preppies eh? Well its such a bag of peanuts.
Seriously, I was better off before. I can't seem to focus at all.The plus side is, I have been a little more chatty.Chatty can be fun.Chatty can be good. Chatty es no bueno when you have to study your books. Finals are less than 48 hrs away and have I studied yet?...I have been searching the web on everything from better soft drugs to soft porn to perverted teachers.Mind you, there are quite a few (I will hyperlink once I graduate). It also occured to me, that there are a lot of pervs out there, that aren't so far from reach. Its the guy sitting behind me in lab, or that girl who puts peanut butter on her cinammon bagel. Its not always the beady eyed, whiskey drinking, southerner (could be describing my uncle "jOe")

I must say,the days have been better. I am more moseying up to the realization of my nerd self, and that I will never be "cool" or "normal".Whatever in the hell that means. I fell far away from the apple tree, and apparently not many others have too. And that's getting OK to deal with. I keep waiting for the spaceship to jet me out of here,where are the abducting aliens when I need them. Getting probed doesn't seem half bad right now. My meds are now out, and I fear I shall return to the doldrums...I had a half decent night last night however, w/ someone I thought to be intially a freakazoid. I still believe him to be. He did however share my obsession for guiness and English, or proper grammar- (mind you I suck at it).But somehow, the interlocking puzzle pieces still don't fit.

Maybe I was put into the wrong puzzle box.

I want to get out there in life. I mean, really out there. If I weren't so academically driven(thanks mom) I would rather be tight rope walking or fire eating with the carnies somewhere. Well at least I am not internet dating anymore.