Two steps forward, Two steps backward

My mind keeps racing. I pace back and forth until restless. I am so engaged with my own thoughts that I forget to breathe. I become completely unaware of the drilling of handpieces, the swiveling of chairs, anything and everything.
I am preoccupied with thoughts of mankind. Naive thoughts of fates,destinies and chakras.
Questions which need re-examining, ones with insufficient answers or none at all. It does not pay for me to examine such questions as they prove fruitless. Like a dog, I dash to catch my tail not even aware of the stupidity of my behavior and the lessons I have yet to learn. I JUST KEEP GOING.

"Is any man's life more valubale than then next?" Yawn.
" Are we alone in the universe?" "Is there a god?" "Why did I have to meet you in the first place?" All rehtoric.

And so I pine to make something out of this existence and my time here. Feeling like I am thrusting towards the future but a means to no end.I still wonder if I ever have experienced love or know what it truly means. "It's the chemicals," they say. We must look for meaning and understanding in all things as it is our nature. The quest for knowledge.
And even though I know that someone or something else will come along; as I wait for the NEXT BIG THING I feel so much.Every neuron, every synapse is hard at work translating a message that ultimately gets tossed in the trash. I am bursting inside and the pressure increases. I wait for the time to pass when only a memory remains of what we were, who I was, who you are. You came to show me life could be beautiful, and even though I have the armamentarium I cannot face the challenge.

I still yearn for you. I wish you great success and it will be yours.How wonderful it must be to be a hair on your bountiful head. Exciting travels and adventures await you!