Stuck in the middle

With a dry mouth and a racing heart, I strive to let you know how the very thought of you brings me to a complete shutdown. Brain cells cease to fire,my muscles cannot twitch.Interestingly, the brim of my lids are filled with salty secretions of tears.Some parts of me still work.

I'm obviously in limbo/purgatory. Stuck in a place above the dark hell of loneliness, but not quite at the bountiful joy that is companionship. I sell myself short every time, clutching at straws, grasping with the primitive palmar reaction.

I want to care for and be cared for.Simple human pleasures. Does being human give an excuse or make it OK to be the way you are- a tragic flaw. Can I convince you that you are making a mistake. Or do I need the convincing?

~~~~~