fleeting cheer

I have been thinking some radical or maybe not so radical new thoughts which stems from the idea of liberating myself from fear, and not being respectful of my being or the creator of the amazing wonderfulness that I and you - the reader, possess. It is amazing and wonderful how we all ultimately got here and we all have a full potential to reach. Plants bloom, provide food and shade- we humans destroy, err I mean create and do all this poppy cock nonsense.

Ok, so I was trying a spin at positivity... and wondering why I have not let go of some the fears I cling so closely to, and to try to stop fighting everything, and let things be...to realise that sometimes its ok to be myself and shine and let others bask in my beautiful glow..do you feel the warmth...

Random thought. I really want to say this to someone, but I will type it b/c I will never say it to their face, b/c they will think I am lying: "I am not in love with you, but the person that you represent. You could be anybody."

I was trying to make a list of things I wanted to do/ change, then I started to feel new year's resolutionish and decided a list of things I wanted would be way cooler:
1) new sunglasses
2) blotting powder
3) new cell phone
4) casual boots (?)
5) to color my hair (should be #1)
6) more casual clothes from american apparel- although I swore to burn them out

very easy to make a list of things I want. I also want world peace, and black folk to be the dominating race, and to become buddhist for a week/month, no winter, death to certain asians...we'll see