The napkin

I returned home today to something most unsettling.
Everything seemed in order and I noticed nothing.

I settled into my usual routine, derobing, wonderiing what goodies to eat for dinner (turned out to be pepperoni pizza and pistachio baklava). Nothing exciting here, just more work to do.
I descended to my desk,booted my computer and as I began to attempt to make notes for a shitty exam coming up, my special blue ink pen with the super soft grip was now on my window ledge. I thought nothing of it.

Not feeling in the mood for work, I descended to my unmade bed where I found this...


So I asked my roommate if she left me a note. She replied, "No,what note?" I picked it up from my sheets and upon closer inspection of what was MY Dunkin Donuts napkin, that I left nearby my desk, being that I am too lazy to go to the kitchen sometimes, written in an all too familiar blue ink it read:

DON'T KEEP ANYTHING UNDER THE A/C

THANKS CARL
SUPER

Now I don't know about you, but this made me feel quite uncomfortable. Yes, I did know that there was plans to change our filters but I'd assumed I would have been there. And sure enough, Carl took the liberty of removing my duffel bag and printer from under the air-conditioning unit. Suddenly, I had eerie thoughts of Carl rumaging through my chest of drawers examining my undergarments, sniffing the crotch- naturally the first thought that comes to mind. I wondered if he took anything? If he thought I kept my room neat or tidy? How dirty were my A/C filters? Why couldn't I place things underneath (I did move my printer back under)? What does he think of all the dust bunnies? Were my panty choices pleasing to him?
How does my crotch smell?