Me against me

Day two of the online ranting.And once again I am not studying. Yah well, maybe I don't want to be a scholar after all,but rather spend my days doing random odd jobs-freelance writing..hmmm- such as this. Any Joe w/ access to the internet and computer can write some type of online article. Why am I blogging for free. Well on the contrary I am getting free space on the net to write about anything I damn well please... In other news my friend,who we will call - hmm, the creative juices sure aren't flowing-Ol' Yellow, yellow for short, until I figure out something else, sent me a nice website to aid me in my quest to battle my depression - lifeiswaiting.com - The title alone sounded catchy, but it is another ploy by the wonderful pharmaceutical companies to keep me drugged up w/ shit that does not seem to do anything but make my head pound. I can't help but think, did I miss the boat,the carnival,whatever parade float everyone else seems to be on. I desperately want to feel again- not that I felt much before. Did I also forget to mention how annoying it is for people to say "you're crazy!" in jest. Because the truth is, I am feeling a bit Sylvia Plathish and somehow may slowly slip away.In her journal she wrote:

"To annihilate the world by annihilation of one's self is the deluded height of desperate egoism. The simple way out of all the little brick dead ends we scratch our nails against.... I want to kill myself, to escape from responsibility, to crawl back abjectly into the womb."